


Current Time

by shipwreckblue



Category: The Magnus Archives
Genre: Gen, I hope it came out decent?, Statement Fic, The End (The Magnus Archives) - Freeform, This ended up mixing entities a little bit more than intended, the spiral (the magnus archives) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 03:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21237551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipwreckblue/pseuds/shipwreckblue
Summary: Statement of Petra, surname unavailable, regarding a lifelong challenge with time management. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins.





	Current Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [izurus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/izurus/gifts).

> I sure hope this title pun lives up to some of the shit Jonny's pulled on us.

[CLICK] 

**ARCHIVIST**

Statement of Petra... Hm. Surname obscured, regarding- Hang on. Original statement given… 

[muttered] Is that toda-? No, that’s- There’s some kind of copier error, obscuring the date as well. Going to make this one an absolute treat to file. But… I suppose the tape is already running. We can note the date when we find the original transcript, wherever it’s been stashed away. 

Statement of Petra, surname unavailable, regarding a lifelong challenge with time management. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins. 

**ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) **

So- Okay, you asked me to write down what’s happened, starting from the beginning. The hard part here is that I never know what time it is anymore. 

I mean, I’ve tried looking at clocks and watches- But I never managed to learn to read them that well, you know, even back in primary school? Analog clocks, I mean. I went to some hippie, new-age private institution, except you’d never know it from the classrooms; we all sat on the floor on handmade cushions, banging on rain sticks and the like, and when they tried to teach us to read clocks it seemed so convoluted, a bunch of points spinning in a circle, I almost swear they would have had better luck teaching us to read a sundial. I remember used to get so frustrated, I would tear my hair out in fistfuls, just trying to get somebody’s attention. 

They forced my parents to have me tested for all sorts of _ problems, _ after enough little stunts like that, of course, but it wasn’t ever me that had the issue. I maintain it was just that the babysitters at their overpriced daycare were bad at teaching.

Anyway, it didn’t matter too much that I never learned analog time properly, because I was born into the digital age. The older I got, the less it mattered I couldn’t get anything from a clock face, because the number of available screens I could check instead just grew larger every year. At first I could tell time by the television, because I knew which programs came on each hour; I liked having the noise on in the background, even if I wasn’t watching, because it helped me focus. And then when I was twelve I got my first cell phone, and that sort of helped matters. Thing is it’s kind of hard to check the time when there’s all this other stuff always popping up and grabbing your attention? I was constantly late to everything- School, appointments, meals, meetings with friends, you name it. It’s just so easy to get distracted.

I know what you’re thinking- why not just get a wristwatch, surely that’s simple enough, and they’ve got decent digital ones? And yeah, I tried that, it’s just that I could never keep a single watch for more than a week. I’ve read about it, and apparently there are electrical currents in everyone’s body, right, passing through your bloodstream, and some people? The electricity in their bloodstream is just too strong to keep a wristwatch so close to their body, close to that current in your veins. It drains the life out of the batteries in a matter of days.

That’s what happens to me, every time. And at first it was just wristwatches, which, that’s workable, you know, they’ve got the time all over the place in school, you’ve always got somebody to ask. When it started happening with my cell phones too, I just started keeping them in my bag instead of my back pocket, carried around those little auxiliary charging blocks. And when the blocks ran down too quickly, I don’t know, I figured they were cheap. It’s not like I make a habit of sinking any real money into most of my electronics, at this point. 

Like, I know what you’re thinking, here I am at the Magnus Institute trying to tip you all off that I _ eat batteries for power? _ Hide your laptops and cover your lightswitches, that sort of thing, which doesn’t even sound interesting enough to come from a lunatic so much as an attention-seeker pure and simple. But, okay, you asked about the dish gloves when I came in, and I swear, the lightswitch thing, it’s not a joke. I can show you, if you want. But this is a really big building and you probably have a lot of important stuff on these computers, so, I’m guessing you don’t want that. Even if it might liven the place up a little bit. 

But, yeah, the dish gloves- It’s kind of amazing that such a thin layer of rubber can act as such an important buffer, isn’t it? I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I mean, okay, so my Dad had a heart attack a few years back, right, and that was pretty scary for our family. I think it had to be stress-related; he’d been working himself to the bone trying to cover all those complications with the electric bill, and it just got to be too much, I think. I’ve been living at home since I dropped out of uni, and I’m the one who called the ambulance for him. Would you believe the phone died in the middle of the call? It surprised _ me, _ considering it was a landline, but they still managed to get the ambulance there in time. Dad managed to pull through, except that to make sure it didn’t happen again… Well, they had to install a pacemaker. 

I know, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry. Nothing happened, that was a few years back, and he didn’t suddenly put a hand on my shoulder and collapse or anything. 

No, the weird thing is, I was keeping my eye on a quiche in the oven for my mum, last week? She was on the couch, watching a recording of Downton Abbey, and I was watching the quiche, except I saw it start to get a little brown, and I wasn’t sure if that meant it was ready yet or not. So I went over to ask her, and she said she’d come check herself, if I would only give her a hand up off the couch. 

Usually when people get electrocuted in movies, there’s this huge cracking, popping noise, and a lot of smoke involved. That didn’t happen, but I think that’s probably because an electrocution is an overload of conductive current, and whatever happens when I touch things? That’s current flowing _ out. _So my mum, she just sort of, went slack, like a puppet with its strings cut, and collapsed on the living room carpet. And I felt… I felt… 

I’m not sure how to explain- taller, maybe? Or, hang on; I can just draw you a picture. 

Don’t you think that’s weird, though? She’s never had heart issues before in her life. Sure, she was a little overweight, but nothing unhealthy. But I guess it just comes down to what I was telling you about the current everyone carries in their body, like, if you can steal that from a wristwatch, I guess we are all kind of disposable batteries when you get right down to the core of it. 

Anyway, that was last week- At least I think it was last week. We don’t have a calendar in the house, and I’ve had a hard time trying to get the date from anyone I pass on the street. They all seem way to distracted by whatever’s going on with my hair, and somebody said something about my tattoos, but the last I checked I’ve never actually gotten any. I’d check a mirror but I’ve been avoiding those for a while now, because Mum used to keep a lot of family pictures up in the house? Except ever since I tried checking her desktop for the time, I haven’t seen myself show up in them. There’s just a gap in the photo where I used to be, and if the frame is zoomed out enough, in some of them, you can see the little black, sooty mark where my feet used to be. 

I thought I’d try to find the Magnus Institute, like, you lot might be the best place to go if I’m trying to figure out what to do next, because I don’t think the dish gloves are going to cut it for much longer. Your staff have actually been very helpful, so far; at the very least, three people so far have given me the time and date when I asked, which is the best I’ve gotten in ages. Of course, they were all _ different _ times and dates, so maybe you ought to address the organizational structure around here a little bit better. I’ve been looking around here for the past few minutes trying to find the woman who handed me the form, the sharp old woman with the little grey bun, said she was in charge of the statements. Haven’t seen her for a while now. 

  


**ARCHIVIST**

Hmm. It appears there is supposed to be an…. Artist’s rendition, included within the file here, but there’s nothing else attached. Having such a wealth of firsthand experience with the organization standards of this archive, however, I am, to put it lightly, unsurprised. 

[DOOR OPENS] 

If the er, drawing in question ever surfaces, we’ll be sure to- 

  


**PETRA **

Oh, sorry. 

**ARCHIVIST**

Excuse me, this area isn’t open to- Good lord, what happened to you?

**PETRA **

Nothing, really. It’s just sort of always been like this. 

**ARCHIVIST**

Sorry, I don’t- Hold on, where did you get those forms? Are you here to give a statement? 

**PETRA **

Oh! Yes, I’ve just been looking for someone to pass it off to? The Head Archivist said- 

**ARCHIVIST **

I’m the Head Archivist. 

**PETRA**

Oh. Are you? … Well then, you’d better take this. Say, do you have the time? 

**ARCHIVIST**

I- It’s- Well. It appears my watch isn’t- 

**PETRA**

Didn’t think so. There you are, anyway. 

[PAPER RUSTLES] 

I’d better be getting on. Probably late for supper, knowing me. You want to keep the lights? 

**ARCHIVIST**

What? Of cours- 

**PETRA**

[CLICK, AS IF A LIGHTSWITCH; THE ARCHIVIST EXCLAIMS IRRITABLY]. 

Sorry. Force of habit. 

**ARCHIVIST**

  
[FUMBLING ON DESK]

Where’s the goddamn- Don’t we have a backup generator?! How else am I supposed to see anything in this glorified basement- Ah-_hah._ There you are. End recording.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed, @izurus!! Happy Halloween!


End file.
